Tuesday, November 2, 2010
You can't handle the truth!
As certain things drag on, I'm finding it more and more difficult to maintain the relatively calm and controlled demeanor that some people might be accustomed to. I can't help but think about politicians or celebrities in certain situations. How many times do you think a president wished they could call somebody a brainless a-hole that should focus on managing their own lives before trying to opine on what others should do? How many times do you think certain celebrities would like to smack some overly persistent paparazzo upside their fancy camera? But they can't...
Everybody has those situations. It could be with family, friends, work, whatever, but most people are smart enough to recognize that certain circumstances dictate silence rather than total openness. Sometimes not saying what you really feel is just healthier for the relationship. While honesty should be considered a virtue, most people are not accustomed to dealing with the level of brutal honesty that would come out if we all said what was really on our minds. We're smart enough to realize that, so we filter and sugar coat our thoughts, until what we finally say is a watered down, sappy, unoffensive version of what we might say if we were kings of the universe and answered to nobody.
You know what? Having to do that sucks. I've got no more eloquent way of putting it. While I pride myself for being able to inhibit the inner Steevo for the sake of managing a relationship, I also crave the cathartic pleasure gained from offering a depiction of people and events as I view them. But as I do not fit into the "universe ruler" category just yet, these thoughts have to be kept private.
It took a simple comment from my wife to suggest that I write about these things anyway, but don't post them. Ha! What a ridiculous idea! What's the point of writing if nobody can read it? I guess the idea is like writing a journal or a like a letter that you never mail. The act of writing is enough to think through things and relieve some tension even if the intended recipient never reads a word of it. Frankly, half the fun is knowing that there are people out there seeing what I write, but I suppose I don't get much immediate feedback anyway. I'm disciplined enough to keep writings in draft form for long periods of time, until such point that whatever personal risk I might suffer has abated.
I think tonight I begin the Photo Steevo books of secrets; a cache of writing that will be read by no one unless I see fit to release it.
See, I feel better just having written all that.